TheBattlehammer

Imagine a world without hammers… How does it look? How does it function? What do the inhabitants hit things with? Do they function better than Parker?

If you can’t visualize a hammerless world, it may be because your imagination is as restricted as my fellow role-player, who shall remain unnamed. Alternatively, it’s simply because there has never been a time in history that hammers did not exist in some form or another and conceiving a world without hammers is like swimming against the current of logical reasoning. After all, Hammers are now, have been and will always be a pivotal tool for the aiding of a commendable human existence… almost as important as D6’s and D10’s… or dare I say it… an unimpeded imagination!

The Norse Gods, clearly agreed, with anything that their monumental imaginations could envision available to them as a weapon and a symbol of power, responsibility, protection and wisdom, they didn’t fashion an encumbering bulwark of some sort. Oh no my friends! They actualized a Hammer, Thor’s Hammer! A heavy hammer that could only be lifted by those worthy of it (Thor himself), yes, but a hammer nonetheless. In my opinion, Thor’s D6 or D10 would have also have installed reverence in the peasant folk and would have had the same effect on their decision-making process, but yet who am I to argue with the gods? Plus, I like hammers too, just not as much as dice.

The “Real” world’s obsession with hammers did not stop with Norse Mythology, hammers have been and are still seen in the enlightened world as the symbolic representation of labour, production and construction. Since the barrage of industrial revolutions, the driving force for human progression has been money, obtained through manufacturing and the sale of labour. Which undoubtably could be represented by… you guessed it… A spoon!  Sometime later, some bearded chap called Karl Marx said that we were paying too much for our miniatures, I mean £25 for 5 miniatures and we need 30 or more to play 1 game, come on what’s that all about?!  Karl Marx was not happy about the extortionate toll feeding his need for “Plastic Crack” had on his wallet, and he said that once everyone else realized that they were paying too much for their toys, err sorry I mean basic necessities, they would unite and have a revolution.

Lo and behold, something that I think that we at the Battle hammer have never heard of emerged. It goes by the name of Guildball. The individuals responsible for this “Entity”, for lack of a better word, made printable materials available to enable people to play their game for free…. For FREE? Are they mad?  Honestly No… they are not mad… but what was mad was the ensuing response. The gaming community went bat shit crazy for this game! Emerge The Battle Hammer, and other like-minded groups of gamers to stand alongside the likes of Cool Mini’s and Steamforged Games as the proverbial revolutionaries. Each part of this large community is in essence a hammer, helping to decimate the relentless exploitation of gamers and shape, craft and bring a gaming revolution!  

We here at the Battle Hammer look forward to seeing how this unstoppable revolution of hammers, shapes the future of gaming and the spoils to be gained through the beautiful unpredictability of rolling dice.

And yet, guess what!!! There is another hammer involved in our revolution! Inside your ear there 3 bones that help transform sound waves in to meaningful neural signals, allowing you to comprehend the beauty being sent down the grapevine and the filth that comes out of the fools in orange Battle Hammer T-Shirts.

This is a revolution that we at the Battle Hammer are proud to be part of!