A roving we will go

Yesterday the unheard of, nay the unthinkable happened, Parker and I headed out into the real world (shiver) to, for the first time play against someone we had chattered to on Twitter but never met in person! We were going out to pop our cherry playing against other people! And if you happen to know Parker and I (and lets face you either don’t or wouldn’t want to) you will know this is a big thing for us to do! But what the hell there is a tournament in Norwich next month so we better get used to the idea!

So with the traditional Battlehammer gay shirts on it was off to the station with figures, tokens, pitch, Taser, and cheese and ham rolls lovingly prepared by the wife, and enough shrapnel scraped together for a beer. And for once there was ample seating on the train (just as well for Mr P and his ever expanding beer storage) and the journey was pleasant.

First stop, pub and some Dutch courage, and fifteen minutes later I receive a text from our opponent telling us he is crossing the road to us now! Yikes! And then in walks one Mr Paul Sutton, aka @TheRealCacklad, once we patted him down for weapons and taken away the offending axe, chainsaw, knuckledusters, bullwhip and can of squirty cream we felt safe enough to buy him a beer, ask the cursory question, how was your journey, how is the family, what do you do, and then get to the meat of the matter, Guild Ball!

Well it appears our Mr Sutton happens to be a mortician player (yes we are going to get on) and he knows what he is talking about, which is a good thing because most of the time Parker and I don’t have a bloody clue, and it is so refreshing talking to someone who has the same passion for the game that we do! So two beers down and it was time to put the wax on the tracks and slide on out of there and head to Athena games where a table was waiting for us.

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Aw look at us setting up like we know what we are doing!

Now, I thought being parked next to the toilet was a bad thing, turns out it wasn’t, people would stop and look as they went past, and some even asked questions! But we were not there for their entertainment we were there to play ball, GUILD BALL! So with a slightly subdued version of Kick it in the goal, we started and first up Parker would challenge the newcomer!

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And like Parkers pants on a Saturday night, they were off!

This would be interesting, Parker (for all his crapness) is a pretty handy Guild Ball player, but Paul is a completely unknown factor for us, turns out he plays the same way we do, gentlemanly, talks through his moves and is a bloody nice chap! Parker, time for you and your butchers (sigh) to do what you do best, DESTROY HIM!!!

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Action from the pitch Bob.

I do enjoy watching a good game of Guild Ball, and this was epic, two coaches who know their teams, and know how to play (kind of helps) and enjoy playing! All I can say is that this game was tighter than a nun’s lady garden!

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Kick it in the goal…

With score building, the tension rising (along with the smell of unwashed adolescents) there could be only one winner, and in all fairness it came down to the last dice roll, and Parker squeezed in the victory!

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To the victor, well I just think you should have hit him Paul!

Next it was me! No photos of our epic encounter as Parker was having trouble keeping his eyes on the pitch (dude those girls were young enough to be your daughters, oh that’s a nasty thought. But there was a lot of flesh on show) so two identical mortician teams faced off, two Mists! This should not take long!

And it did not, I played the game of my life taking the first goal (Mist) Watching his Obulus miss the goal, then his Mist Scoring, my Obulus getting the ball floating up the pitch to rattle another in, followed by Paul pulling another back! This was tense! Suddenly I took out his bird, 10/8. Oh my god, could I actually win? The ball comes back to my goal area, I have no one who can reach it! Paul’s Mist flits through and Kicks it in the goal, BOOM!

Absolutely fantastic game! Loved every minute of it! With that it was time to return to the pub for a quick after match pint or kill the load, twatty D+D players in the corner. The beer won out!

All I have left to say is Mr Paul Sutton, you sir are a scholar, a gentleman, a rocking Guild Ball player! Thank you for taking the time to pop our cherry! And we must do it again!

And now my official Guild Ball dice have arrived you shall all feel my wrath!

Till next time.


2 thoughts on “A roving we will go

  1. It really was an awesome couple of games – so close both times, and the Morticians Mirrors playing proper football. (Well, the two Obulus and Mist’s with the rest just tarting about looking pretty).
    Thanks for making me sound like I know what I am talking about too, and not Butchering me utterly Parker!
    You two truly are mental, but a friendlier and more welcoming pair I couldn’t hope to have blundered across. Can’t wait to get back across to the wilds of Norfolk and maybe see how my Fish fare against the mighty ‘Hammer 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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